February 22, 2005
I sometimes surf through blogs and journals written by other parents, because, you know, it's interesting to see how the other side lives. Something I run across from time to time is the ever-popular "Breastfeeding nazis" discussion. It doesn't take much to get people started on this topic. The merest mention of formula-feeding or breastfeeding will do it. People start chiming in with their comments about how they couldn't breastfeed for this, that, or the other reason, and they wish people would get off their backs about it, and lots of people post supportive pro-formula messages, primarily involving the phrase "turned out just fine," and then it gets really ugly, because everyone starts talking about the breastfeeding nazis. (Note use of lower-case to avoid confusion with actual Nazis, and doesn't it seem unbelievably offensive to you that we are associating breastfeeding mothers -- even strident, pushy breastfeeding mothers -- with a regime that attempted to systematically murder an entire race? Perhaps that's just me.)
Apparently, these women are everywhere. If I am to believe what I read on these other blogs and journals, it is nigh unto impossible to bottle-feed your baby in public without being accosted by a proselytizing, self-righteous person who will lecture you about how breastfeeding is best. The prepared bottle-feeding mother has a stock of pithy comeback lines ready to go, such as, "She's adopted; the last I checked, my udders are dry, but feel free to have a go if you don't believe me," or "The doctors told me I had to wean because of the chemo, but if you really think I should keep going..." and so forth.
Here's the thing, though. I've breastfed in public and I've bottlefed (expressed breastmilk) in public. I've done it on airplanes, on buses, on parade routes (as bystander, not participant), and in several states. And not once in three years has anyone ever made a single comment to me, pro or con, about either breastfeeding or bottle-feeding. I guess all the breastfeeding nazis were out harassing other mothers on the days I was bottle-feeding my babies.
My point, such as it is, is just that it's difficult enough to be a parent without manufacturing controversy where none exists. I'm not saying all these people made up their little stories about the mean, mean breastfeeding militia, but I do think a lot of stories are exaggerated for dramatic effect. Like, a lot. What in reality was a lifted eyebrow becomes a story about a five-minute-long harangue about the joys of breastfeeding.
To sum up: Everyone knock it off with calling other mothers names like "nazi" and "militia"; nobody give anybody else crap, not even a lifted eyebrow, about how they choose to feed their baby; and stop making up stories designed to provoke conflict. That is all.
Posted by Jan at February 22, 2005 1:57 PM
Comments
As someone who is childless yet really against the breastfeeding nazis I can tell you they do exist and are putting their messageout there all the time. They have nurses who work in maternity wards and give out pamphlets that are less "let's help you make an informed decision" and more "the only decision you have is to breastfeed or you're a bad mother". So you haven't heard negative comments on either side and I'm so happy for you because I've seen it make the whole mothering experience miserable for friends and family. Maybe you are oblivious to people's stares or they keep their voice down. Maybe you live in a very open-minded town or everyone is just minding their own business where you are. But that does not mean these mothers are stretching the truth about the breastfeeding nazis. I hear their crap all the time and I'm not even a mother. I have however seen many women made depressed because they were made to feel like bad mothers for bottle feeding. Count your blessings that they haven't gotten to you-but they are alive and well.
Posted by: Lynda at November 11, 2007 10:59 PM