December 13, 1999
Annoyingly, I had just finished typing this entry when the power to my office blew, and since I'm doing it in SimpleText, which is not renowned for its autosave features, I lost the whole thing. I would like to go on a small rant right now about the landlords of this building (I'm at work). First, there's no heat to the building today. It is 31 degrees outside. There is no heat. There have been no promises made as to when the heat will return. I am typing here with my coat on over a heavy sweater, and I've been drinking massive amounts of coffee in an attempt to keep warm. Second, our boss got us all space heaters, but we can't run them on high or we'll blow the power. Jean thought she could run hers on high because she's in a separate office. She blew the power. That's what made me lose my last entry. Hopefully I will make it through this one without major catastrophes or natural disasters, because if not I'm giving up and chalking it up to God not wanting me to update today.
In hair-related news. I got a groovy new haircut this weekend. I think I mentioned the last time I got my hair cut that it's one of the best things you can do if you want to improve your mood or just generally feel better about yourself. You go in with drab, out-of-shape hair, and you come out looking like a million bucks. Contributing to my general euphoria is the fact that I also had my hair dyed bright, fiery red. Every time I look in the mirror I think, "Wow, is that ME? Can that be... ME?" I'm really happy with the cut.
My stylist is moving to the Fremont location of the salon, though, so I guess next time I get my hair cut I'll have to go to Fremont (a neighborhood of Seattle). I don't think men are this loyal to their stylists, are they? I'm pretty sure they aren't. I sure am, though. I had the same stylist through four years of college, and when she quit five months before graduation, I went five months without a haircut rather than find a new stylist just in time to move and find an entirely NEW stylist in Seattle.
Maybe it's just that I've been burned so many times on bad haircuts, or maybe I'm just superstitious, but once I find somebody who does a good job on my hair, I'm theirs until they quit or die. I even feel bad if my regular stylist goes out of town and I get scheduled with someone different. Unless it's a total emergency, I'd just rather wait until my regular stylist comes back. I always worry that if I go to someone different, my regular guy will feel betrayed. This is probably stupid. But my hair looks great, so I'm sticking with it.
In relationship news. Keith and I have been having a lot more "discussions" lately, which I actually think is a good thing, since it means that he's opening up about his feelings a lot more. For example, this morning on the way to work he brought up the subject of his making me lunch again. He said that "I LIKE making you lunch, just like I LIKE doing all kinds of other little things for you, but it's sort of a time issue, like I'm taking on this burden of making lunch.."
I stopped him and told him, look, if it's a huge burden and it's going to be an issue between us and you're going to feel resentful every time you make me my lunch, it is NOT a big deal and I can easily make my own lunch.
He said, "No, that's not really the point, it's not so much that it's a burden, it's just that, OK, I like making your lunch and I like (I forget what else he said, but it was true, he does a lot of nice little things for me all the time), and I'm making your lunch this morning and thinking, what do you do for ME that you like to do? Can you think of any?"
I found this to be an upsetting question, and moreover a question that I really felt I couldn't answer. I mean, what could I say, "Well, Keith, I give you back rubs at night, and I search all over the entire city of Seattle to find you really interesting and cool Christmas presents, and I tuck you in and wrap blankets around you when you want a nap, and I brush your hair, and ..."? I mean, how horrible and petty does that sound? After saying something like that, every time I did anything on that list, Keith would think that I was only doing it out of resentment for his making the lunch comment. Or I'd think that he was thinking that, and either way it would ruin it for both of us. So I told him that I was NOT going to go down a list of all the things I do for him that he should appreciate but apparently doesn't.
What the entire discussion boiled down to in the end was that Keith feels that I don't really help out enough around the house. He's right, I don't. I'm a horrible housecleaner. In my apartment last year in Chicago, when I moved out I threw out some Coke cans that had been around since early July. Ever since I moved in with Keith, I've been falling into the same tendencies of slovenliness. I need to do more housework. It was sort of OK (not really OK) when he was home all day and I was at work all day, but now he's at work even LONGER than I am, so there's just no excuse. Keith also said that he feels like we don't work as a team enough, and he's also right about that. It's something I want to work on.
Anyway, I was glad we had the discussion this morning. It didn't end on an angry note, which is good, because if it had I would have been upset all day. Instead, I agreed to do more of the housework, and Keith agreed to be as open as he can about his feelings. I think it was a good discussion. It was a relationship-building thing, and I think in general our arguments/discussions lately have been a sign that we're settling into the relationship.
Enough relationship stuff, what about the weekend?! Well, this weekend was jam-packed with excitement and fun. For one thing, Keith and I made soap for Christmas. Keith has been hand-making soap for a long time now, and I just recently joined him in these efforts. We produced a lovely light-pink batch of lavender-scented soap that I'm very proud of. It was supposed to be light purple, but the dyes came out a little wrong, but that's OK. It smells great.
We also got a Christmas tree! I'm so excited. I didn't think we were going to get one, because we don't have a big family, it's just us, and we don't own our own house (I don't know what that has to do with it, but it's what I thought), and ... I just didn't think about getting one. So when Keith said "You wanna go get a Christmas tree this weekend?" I was like "Yeah!! Christms tree! Woo-hoo!". So we have a fine Christmas tree now, which is settling in in the garage. We'll move it into the house tomorrow, I think. We also got six dozen ornaments to put ON the tree, and some outdoor lights for the house. I'm very excited about the whole thing.
OK, my fingers are tired and cold, and I want to wrap this up before the power goes out again, so check back tomorrow, same Bat time, same Bat channel.