October 2, 1999

Early morning

It's actually still October 1 for me, since it's 12:55 AM and I haven't gone to bed yet. I'm feeling unusually energetic for this late at night.

I just wanted to update the journal right now because I wanted to share how I feel about Keith at this very moment.

Tonight I made dinner, and he washed some dishes after, and we moved the dresser together, and we sat in this office and played computer games separately, but it still felt good to be in the same room with him.

I never really thought I'd meet someone like Keith. He's smart, and sexy, and sweet, and funny, and he cares so much for me, and appreciates all parts of me, body and mind. I really didn't think that was possible, for a long time. I thought nobody would ever want me for my body, and only someone very special would want me for my mind. I thought most men wanted girls who weren't as smart as they were.

I was wrong. Keith is the most special person I could ever have hoped to find. Every day he makes me proud and happy to be his partner. I feel more content at this stage of my life than I think I ever have, through all of high school and college, and it's got a lot to do with Keith and how he treats me.

Keith is the one who made me realize I don't need makeup to make myself look pretty, and I'm not ugly, and I am a desirable person. He made me realize that it's okay to be smart, and it's okay to do dumb things sometimes anyway. He made me understand that there really are some men in the world who aren't jerks, and who don't use women like toys.

I love him terribly.

The day proper

Is there anything that makes you feel more feminine than taking a bubble bath? I don't think there is. Relaxing in the tub, surrounded with bubbles, listening to music and reading a good book -- nothing is better.

Just don't read books in the tub that can't get a little wet around the edges. I'm terrible at keeping them out of the froth.

Anyway, today Keith and I had planned to go to Salmon Days in Issaquah. If I were you, I'd be asking right now, "What the hell is Salmon Days?" Well, that's what I'm still asking myself, too. I was going to find out today, but this morning when I woke up I had a killer headache and felt dizzy and weak, so thanks to whatever bug I have, I'll have to wait to find out about Salmon Days until next year.

Keith went, though. His mom came to pick him up, and they're meeting Satoe in Issaquah.

I spent the first couple hours at home feeling sorry for myself that I was missing Salmon Days (whatever they are) and watching bad TV. Then I figured that as long as I had to be home, I might as well make some good use of my time. First, I painted my fingernails blackberry. I very recently stopped biting my nails, and now I'm so proud of them being long and grown out and strong and shapely that I want to draw as much attention to them as possible. I've been extremely into nail polish lately.

Then I ran the bubble bath. I adore taking bubble baths. It was especially good in my apartment last year, because there was a window IN the bathtub. There was a shower curtain to pull over it for showering purposes, but when I took a bath, I could open the window and have a view of the park across the street. It was nice, and since I was on the third floor of my building, I could be relatively sure that nobody could see in.

Even if they could see in, I didn't particularly care. I've always been bad that way. I always forget to close the blinds or the curtains at night when I'm changing or just hanging around in a revealing nightgown or whatever. I figure that if the neighbors are that interested in my body, they can feel free to look. I'm so magnanimous.

Anyway, I soaked in the bath for a good 45 minutes. I'm reading this book called "The History of Reading" by Alberto Manguel. It's all about, well, the history of reading. So far I've only finished Chapter One, in which he talks about the Greeks and their various theories of how the printed word reached the brain. Some believed that rays came out from the eyes and absorbed the words, and some believed that the essence of the words traveled into the eyes. This was apparently a big philosophical debate.

It occurred to me while reading this that the world might have been a more interesting place before the advent of modern medicine. I mean, the debate between whether your eyes reached out to the books or whether the books reached into your eyes -- if I'd been a Greek I could have had some valuable input into that argument. I could have given it serious thought. But these days, can I argue with a doctor who tells me that I have astigmatism or that I need to eat less butter? No, because the doctor knows more about my body than I do.

I'm not saying this is a bad thing. It's good to have modern medicine. I'm just saying that I think the world might have been a little more interesting before it came along.

The books are due back to the library on the 11th. If you have any suggestions for what I should pick up to replace them, be sure to drop me a line.

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