December 14, 2005
Our Christmas tree looks totally ghetto this year. I'd show you a picture of it, except that ever since we moved, we can't find the camera. I guess this is what happens when you go to cut down your own tree in sub-freezing temperatures in the middle of a blowing snowstorm.
"That one looks good!" "Is it crooked?" "WHO THE HELL CARES, GET THE DAMN TREE AND LET'S GO SOMEWHERE WARM."
The tree is a little crooked, yeah. The trunk comes out of the tree stand more or less straight up, then doglegs it to the left at about a 20 degree angle, then twists and turns a few more times in the manner of an Indy-car racetrack, finally ending up at the top, which looks perfectly straight if you stand about 5 feet to the south-south-west of it, and looks hideously bent to the left or hideously bent to the right from various other angles, depending on where you're standing, the ambient light in the room, and how tall you happen to be. It's really a tree for all people.
Keith and my brother-in-law (visiting for the winter) both think it has character. I guess I have to admit that it does, too. Maybe more character than a Christmas tree should really have, but it's not like we're going out to the damn tree farm again, so I'm going to be content with what we have.
Currently the two men of the house -- pardon me while I have a fit of the giggles -- are deep in negotiation regarding how best to string the lights on the tree. Originally, Keith strung the lights. This was two days after we brought the tree home. Then his brother decided that the lights didn't reach around the tree sufficiently, so he took them all off and re-strung them, upside down this time. At neither time did anybody bother to check if all the lights were working.
As it turns out, about half of the lights weren't working. We tried replacing the dead lights close to the beginning of the strand with some good lights from the end of the strand, which didn't work. We tried some other stuff, the details of which are murky to me because I was engaged in chasing children around the house and trying to get our holiday CDs and/or tree ornaments away from them, and that didn't work either. Finally, tonight it was decided that we should throw in the towel, metaphorically speaking, and go to Target to get a couple new light strands. Now Keith and his brother are downstairs stringing the new lights on the tree, or at least I hope that's what they're doing. The plan is for me to put Stazi to bed and then come downstairs, ooh and aah at the pretty lights on the tree, and start putting ornaments on.
We will see if this actually transpires or not. And once I find the camera, I'll be sure to take some pictures of our ghetto-ass, crookedy, character-filled Christmas tree.
Posted at December 14, 2005 9:42 PM
Posted by: Bibiana Powell at December 15, 2005 3:08 PM
What is it about guys and Christmas lights?! It's like they put on their "man-shorts" and get to it. My man actually took at least two trips to the hardware store for extra lights, fuses, and bulbs. Yes, did you know those silly things have teeny tiny fuses? If your fingers are nimble enough you can replace them and save the strand. Whoohoo!
In our house we have to take turns every year on the tree--white lights and colored. I prefer the white- he likes the colors. Many years ago we dealt with the "Charlie Brown Tree" syndrome. He insisted on the saddest tree on the lot, which he then regretted because of the constant comments. Never again!