September 16, 2005
I have an illustrative story about why you should generally follow your mom (or dad) instincts and not worry that other people are going to think you're overprotective or overreacting.
Zeke has a new teacher in his preschool classroom this year. Last year his teachers were Karen and Megan, but Karen moved to New York at the end of last school year, so there was a hole to be filled. (I told Zeke that Megan was on vacation and that's why he had different teachers in the summer session. Megan, of course, came back, but Zeke still occasionally plaintively asks me when Karen will be back from vacation. I keep trying to tell him that she permanently moved, but I don't think he quite groks it.)
Anyway, the new teacher was this youngish looking guy, early 20s at best, and I got an initial bad vibe off him. Not like a creepy child molester vibe, don't worry. Just a, why is this guy a preschool teacher when he doesn't seem to particularly like kids, vibe. I chalked it up to my being internally prejudiced against young male teachers and decided I'd just keep an eye on things.
School started three weeks ago, and two or three times a week I've been staying behind after dropping Zeke off to watch through the two-way observation room mirror. What I saw did not help assuage my concerns. I saw this particular teacher doing a lot of scowling, grimacing, and eye-rolling. I saw him interacting with the kids only in negative ways -- i.e., "Timmy, please don't put your truck there," "Laura, you need to clean up your mess right now" -- and never in positive ways. I never saw him smile at the kids, never saw him greet the kids when they entered the classroom, and just in general never saw him behaving the way I expect a preschool teacher to behave.
In contrast, the other teacher in the classroom was smiling and warm, and shook each child's hand as they entered the classroom. She gave hugs and helped kids get out their works and gently redirected kids who were fighting or bored or otherwise needed a little extra help. The new guy stood out like a sore thumb in comparison.
Today was the last straw for me. I stayed behind and watched through the mirror again, and watched one of Zeke's little playmates get dropped off, only to burst into tears a few minutes after his mom had gone. He wandered towards the Kleenex box, sobbing piteously, right past the new teacher, and the teacher didn't respond or react in any way. That is not cool, I thought to myself, and if it were Zeke crying and being ignored by a teacher, that teacher would be facing down Hurricane Jan.
So when I got home, I called up the school's director. I had second thoughts about doing this, because I don't want to be one of "those parents," the kind that complain about their kids' teachers and curriculum without cause, the kind that overreact to every perceived slight. On the other hand, I don't want to be the kind of parent that lets my child continue being supervised every day by a teacher who apparently dislikes children. So I made the call. I got the director's voicemail and left a tentative message about how I had a concern about one of Zeke's teachers and could she please call me back.
She called back a few hours later and told me that although it hasn't been announced to anyone but the staff yet, they had already made the decision to let this guy go, and had informed of their decision at the staff meeting last night. They'd noticed the same problems I had, plus a few others, and had decided that although they wanted to give him every chance, they just couldn't keep him on any longer given his behavior.
I was like, totally relieved. In one fell swoop, my fears had been proven justified, and then the source of that fear had been removed. I had this gushing, babbling chat with the director, who tends to gush and babble quite a bit on her own anyway, and got off the phone feeling much better about the world. Apparently the replacement teacher they're getting in is a middle-aged woman with a lot of preschool experience, so that should be nice.
So anyway, sometimes it pays to voice your concerns. Not that in this case it made a difference, as he'd been let go already anyway, but still. I guess the moral is that when you sense something's wrong with your child or your child's environment, you should try your best to make it right, and not worry about what everyone else is going to think of you.
Posted at September 16, 2005 8:42 PM