October 24, 2002
For a brief explanation of where I've been, please see the blog. I will only add that we finally had a technician out here a couple of days ago who figured out what the real problem was, and fixed it. (Our "tap port" was bad.)
However, even though our high-speed Internet connection is now in proper order, we're cancelling it anyway. For one thing, I'm tired of dealing with AT&T's customer "service". Everyone I've talked to there is very polite; that's not the problem. It's just that their internal procedures for fixing outages are horrendous. But more importantly, I've decided that it's ridiculous that we're continuing to pay nearly $50/month for our Internet connection. I'm not even on the Internet that much anymore, now that Zeke is getting older and sleeping less during the day. Furthermore, I'm actively trying to simplify my life. I've come to the realization that for a long time, I've bought things -- doesn't really matter what things, just things -- in an effort to make myself feel better when depressed, or to convince myself that I'm not really poor, because poor people can't afford to buy _____, or a variety of other reasons, when really the only good reason to buy X is, "I need X."
So we're cancelling the high-speed Internet access. We're also cancelling diaper service. We're paying $60/month for diaper service, and I estimate that if I washed the diapers myself in our apartment's coin-op machines it would only cost between $16-24 a month, so that's that. Furthermore, we're changing the way we shop for groceries. My previous pattern was to flip through cookbooks, find something that looked good, and then go out and buy all the ingredients for it, regardless of how expensive the ingredients were. I didn't even pay attention to how much I was paying for stuff. Now I am. We're noting sale prices on everything, especially meat and produce, and we're buying in bulk when it goes on sale. Then we use what we have to make dinner. This has the side benefit of causing the grocery checker to make amusing comments like, "Hey, I think that pork loin weighs more than your baby does!" (Not true. It was two pounds lighter.)
I am also not going to be buying Zeke's baby clothes at department stores for full retail price, either. There are many wonderful consignment stores in this area where you can find designer clothing for 1/10 the price, if not lower. If the clothes are in good condition and look good, who cares where they came from? Besides, it's not like Zeke gives a rip what clothes he wears. We may have to revisit this issue when he's in status-conscious junior high, but the last I checked, the 9-month-old scene was not particularly fashion forward.
This is all part of a vast reshaping of my philosophy about money. Previously I felt that if we came into some extra money -- because a bill was paid off, or one of us got a raise -- we should buy more things with that extra money. We have an extra $20/month? Great, now we can afford to get premium cable channels! I am now examining my life closely and jettisoning everything irrelevant (e.g., high-speed Internet) and refraining from buying any further irrelevancies. If we watch our expenses and limit our luxury spending, Keith makes more than enough to support us and kick some back into savings. (Once the credit card is paid off, that is.) So this is how we're going to live. We don't need a bunch of high-priced crap to be happy. When I envision myself as an old person, I generally see myself surrounded by loving family and friends, not surrounded by all the material goods I've managed to accumulate throughout my life.
In other news. I'm sick. Really sick. I came down with something last Thursday and now I seem to have either relapsed, or come down with something new. I'm wearing three layers of clothes to stave off chills, swigging down chamomile tea as that's all I have the appetite for, and I feel achey and gross. I have been nursing Zeke at every opportunity to try to prevent him from coming down with whatever it is, and so far it seems to be working except that he has kind of a runny nose. Of course, every time I even mention that Zeke hasn't been sick much, he gets sick, but maybe actively discussing the jinx will keep it from actually happening this time.